Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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