i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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