Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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