i would punch a child for taco bell
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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