im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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