Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
