p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Drake has all the answers
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
