Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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