do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
