either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
