Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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