I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
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