so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
