I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
