I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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