Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
