I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
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