i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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