what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
