Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
