my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
