dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
i think my cat just said my name.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
