handjob tips. give me some.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
