how can u be prego again
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
