I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Do you have feelings for this penis?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
