If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
