She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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