yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
