Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
