Im at strip club and am horny
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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