and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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