Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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