i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
