Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
