He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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