A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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