yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
