I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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