you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Two words: blizzard sex
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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