He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
