Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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