strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
