its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
