Betty ford says i'm here all night
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
