Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
