I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
