a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Are we still banned from the library?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
My bed smells like the plague
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
