What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
