is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
