Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
as a side note pls kill me
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
