Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
